Flat Recordings CD 02 02

Compact Disk 02 02 Conversation

EXCERPTS from CONVERSATION.
Below are two takes of artificial conversation which Elmin & I fabricated for the Internotional. Take 2 was used at the Internotional while Take 1 was used in later sound works of mine.

Take 1
Allen: Hi, how are you?
Elmin: Hello, how’re you?
Allen: I'm OK and yourself?
Elmin: Ja, ja I'm alive.
Allen: Well, what'ya doing?
Elmin: I’m talking to you over a microphone…
Allen: No, man, don't be silly.
[Laughter]
Elmin: Joke, joke.
Allen: So, so how ya doing?
Elmin: I’m well, ja.
Allen: Well that's great
Elmin: And you?
Allen: I’m OK… I’m just er… hanging around, just doing my own thing
Elmin: Ja, me to
Allen: So have you done anything interesting lately?
Elmin: Ja, ja I actually have
Allen: Like what?
Elmin: Ar… just like a lot of things.

Take 2
Allen: Hi, how are you?
Elmin: Hello, I’m very well and you?
Allen: I'm OK and yourself
Elmin: Groovy, groovy.
Allen: What’ya doing?
Elmin: Oh, Just hanging around
Allen: Ja, me to. Nice paintings these aren’t they?
Elmin: Ja, well I can only see one.
Allen: I hate coming to these exhibitions… They’re really terrible [false laughter]
Elmin: I don’t know it’s the first time I've been to one like this.
Allen: Is it? Ja, so… um…
Elmin: But I’m not there yet.
Allen: Is it. What do you mean?
Elmin: I don’t know, I’m still going to the exhibition, I think. Are you there already?
Allen: Um… I don’t know, I'm not really sure.
Elmin: It feels as though we’ve had this conversation before
Allen: Ja I know what you mean I think. We probably have I guess.
Elmin: I think we did. But how are you?
Allen: I’m OK
Elmin: Have you been up to a lot of good?
Allen: Um well, I’ve been doing work mainly I haven’t done any artwork for ages. I’ve only been doing like making money and shit like that. I guess um… um… So what’ya doing later?
Elmin: I thought I might go to the Rift.
Allen: Oh ja, I haven’t been there in ages
Elmin: Ja, neither have I.
Allen: Is it nice? [Laughter] No, I know what it’s like I’m talking shit I guess
Elmin: No well I think it changes, you know. Sometimes it’s really nice at the Rift and sometimes it’s really kuck. Normally when its really bad I don’t go there for quite a long time. Then I go there to see what its like.
Allen: Ja, for sure
Elmin: The last time I’ve been there was actually very nice
Allen: I actually wouldn’t mind going there tonight, seriously.
Elmin: Really?
Allen: Ja
Elmin: It’s actually quite a good idea. Should we go?
Allen: Maybe
Elmin: See are you in the mood now? Cause earlier you didn’t really feel like going
Allen: Ja, I don't know um… I’m in the mood, I'm mean, I'm just in the mood to just have a good time, I guess.
Elmin: I guess you’re on your 2nd glass of wine, that’s why.
Allen: Second? [Laughter]

After we had attempted a number of our ‘self-conscious’ takes, we did manage to get into some substantive conversation. Indeed, although unintentionally, some of these words would later be used in other sound projects for example ESPECIALLY THE FACT THAT I DON’T HAVE A CAR.

Allen: OK. Well now that the conversation has ended, should we talk about things that we wouldn’t normally talk about on tape?
Elmin: OK. It could be dangerous though.
Allen: What do you want to talk about?
Elmin: I don't know
Allen: Here endith the recording. What do you want to talk about? This will be totally edited.
Elmin: It's quite nice because it’s like it’s a bit of a risk. It sounds good and then you leave it on. So it’s a risk to me because you're doing the editing.

Elmin: My childhood dream has always been to fly.
Allen: Really?
Elmin: Ja, my body flying and not my mind flying or being in… in something that makes me fly. You know… just physically being able to fly without any help. That’s always been my childhood dream. And sometimes when I feel… feel really trapped, I often get this… this… I don't even know how to describe this feeling I get inside of my stomach. There’s someone scratching from inside me. And I get really frustrated, and I feel as though I am a wild animal trapped and all I want to do then is just to fly. Just want to fly. And sometimes I get so bad that I want to escape from my body and I just start scratching my body trying to break through it. And eventually it just exhausts me so much that I… that I just… just become numb and fall asleep.
Allen: That’s fine.
Elmin: I would still like to know what to do in situations like… that I… I’m still not able to… I'm still not able to actually know what to do with myself in situations like that. Let alone other people. They… they know less than I do what to do with me. Do you sometimes feel like that?
Allen: I feel… I feel… Often like I’ve gotta be on my own, you know. And I’ve created this kind of studio for myself which is… it’s more like a room. It is a room… OK… where I can just go. I have the only key to it. But… um… it's a room where I keep some sort of private stuff. Not really but stuff where I can go to and be on my own and private and kind of safe you know… um… as opposed to this place which is totally always, kind of… um… moved in upon. Its kind of like this place is always open.
Elmin: It’s always a gallery?
Allen: Ja, its always kind of vibrant. It’s always penetrated, you know. This place is permanently penetrated like permanently fucked. I suppose I can use that as a metaphor. But, not really, it just a place.
Elmin: I know what you mean. Ja, I do… You see I understand completely what you are saying and I used to be like that when I was a little girl I had this special place where I had this… um… this plant growing in our garden. I guess it’s not a plant, its more like a eh… don’t know what you call it in English
Allen: Say it in Afrikaans.
Elmin: Struik [shrub] It’s… It’s like… um a small little tree, you know, and it grows really dense and people use it for um… to put around there homes. Anyway but this place it was really dense and very green and made the most amazing tunnels inside. And it had these beautiful yellow flowers growing on it and if you crawl inside of it it’s like crawling into a new world. And no one knew you could actually crawl underneath this um… this plant or tree or hedge or whatever. So I could crawl in there and no one would know I was there. I was all by myself. It was like my secret place and think that’s, that’s more or less like the place you are… It’s where I can be alone and could be myself. But now… now I'm really lucky. I can actually be by myself while I'm here, while I'm now in the room with you, while I’m in the room with a lot of people. I can be totally on my own and l’ve actually perfected it where I can even make them believe that I'm with them but I'm not. Where I’m in my own world by myself in my little space and they actually not even aware of it. I think it took me 22 years to perfect that. It works really well for me.
Allen: Ja
Elmin: So whenever I need it, I can escape into it. I never even physically have to move or change… change venue. Just change the state of mind and soul. It’s really convenient. Especially the fact that I don’t have a car.

This fragment of conversation was used on CONVERSATION II, where I edited out my voice to make as if Elmin was talking to herself. [On FLAT CD 1]

Elmin: Ja, got three brothers. My brothers are great. It was so strange when I was a little girl I always thought you had to choose to have a favourite brother. But my favorite brother’s my oldest brother cause he always read me stories.
Allen: Why was he your favourite brother?
Elmin: Cause he read me stories. I always took out children’s books and then he would read them to me. But I always thought it’s because he’s being nice to read it to me but actually he… actually liked the stories. He enjoyed reading them for himself.
[Laughter]
Allen: Which was… Which was the brother that had… that had the motor-bike accident?
Elmin: That’s my youngest brother. Anyway so my oldest brother was my favouritest brother and I thought he is the most intelligent person in the world and there’s nothing that he doesn’t know and he can answer anything. Whenever I read a book and I didn’t understand a word, I would go and ask him and he would always know. He would always know what… what the answer is. What it means. And I, I don't know, I guess he was like my hero. But then one day… one day I wanted him to read a story to me and I think he was tired. He was in Angola [Border War] at that time in the army and he came home for the weekend and he hadn’t slept for two days. So he was home and I
Allen: How old were you?
Elmin: I was very young I think about five or six years old. And I wanted him to read a story to me… and he was so irritable with me and I kept on asking him and I guess I was being irritating. And then he slapped me. And from that day on he was not my favourite brother anymore.